We all deserve to be happy and joyful. We all deserve lives we want to live. From the bottom of my heart I truly want to help others who are struggling with depression and being suicidal. I’ve been there, I want to help. You deserve more.
My Recent Struggle
Recently, I was reminded of how tough it is to be suicidal. I was under enough stress that I started having suicidal thoughts (again) and it had been several years since I had felt that way.
It was interesting to re-experience that place because I could better understand how others in a similar place might feel and I was able to more clearly remember how I made it through the first time. With this clearer understanding and remembrance, I felt I could now share the tools that got me through it to others, to help them make it through as well.
What I experienced was no real change to how my life looked on the outside, but I was utterly depressed and in pain. When I woke up in the morning, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness that I was alive. I spent close to an hour just crying in the morning because I was awake and alive.
I reached out to get the needed help and I am back to loving life more than ever. But, this experience reminded me of what it was like to be suicidal and how I coped and then healed the first time. I want to share what I’ve learned in hopes that this helps others who are in a similar position.
My Fight with Depression and being Suicidal
Starting at around age 12 and going until I was about 21 I was plagued with depression. No matter how hard I tried, or how much I wanted to be happy, I never could find sustained happiness, only fleeting moments here and there. During this time I was keenly aware that dying would end the pain, although I also knew that wouldn’t get me what I truly wanted – happiness.
What I finally was able to discover is, the root cause of my depression was tied to a lack of acceptance I experienced from the world around me. I had enough people close to me in my life that told me I wasn’t good enough or wasn’t doing things right. I internalized that and believed them that I wasn’t good enough as I was. This drove me to have no self love.
Love is essential to being happy, and with no self love, I wasn’t even able to receive the love offered to me by others.
But, what carried me through the really hard times was the hope and knowledge that life has more to offer than what I was experiencing.
Believe me, I understand the feeling of “this isn’t ever going to end”. I dealt with eight years of ongoing depression. It felt like every time I was able to crawl out, it was only a matter of time before I fell back into the bottomless pit of despair and pain. But I knew I could change it, and I was determined to do so.
So, here is how you can get through being suicidal to be able to live a happier life:
1. Have hope – Pray
Having hope that life can get better is key. A huge help to me was praying to God at night. I felt comforted by that connection and it sustained my hope by knowing there was someone out there to support me and that my desire for happiness was being heard. This gave me hope that one day my depression would get better and I’d be happy.
Now, not everyone feels comfortable praying to God or they don’t believe in God and that is okay! You can also pray, or talk to, your Higher Self. Your Higher Self is the part of you that is beyond the physical and gives you guidance. You can also speak to the Universe and ask it to help you, as everything comes from and is a part of the Universe.
2. Never give up
One of the best things you can do is keep trying new ways to find happiness. Never give up on trying to do that! When you keep trying new activities, ways of living your life, techniques for healing, etc. you have a better chance of succeeding and finding that happiness!
3. Be kinder to yourself
A lot of times by focusing on your mistakes and by being hard on yourself, that will make you feel depressed and not good enough. So be kind to yourself, realize that everyone makes mistakes. Focus on what you did well, your wins and what you can learn from the times when you do make mistakes.
4. Find people who accept you
Depression and being suicidal can be caused by and fueled by a sense of loneliness, by finding people who truly accept and love you as you are, you can counteract this feeling. You can try to find these people by joining groups focused on a topic or hobby you enjoy, or you can strengthen existing relationships that you already have.
5. Cultivate your own self-love
Tell yourself all the reasons why you love yourself. Each day come up with three to ten aspects of yourself that you love and write them down.
6. Find what you are passionate about
Being apathetic, not caring, is central to depression. If you can find something that you are passionate about, that ignites your desire to act and do, you will have something worth following! With depression it can be hard to get out of bed in the morning, to get ready, or to leave the house, give yourself something you are excited about so that getting ready isn’t so bad.
Taking this a step further, when you’re suicidal, having something you are truly passionate about makes life worth living and gives you a reason to push through the tough times. Especially if this passion is focused on helping others on some way, you can take the focus off of yourself and feel the need to push through to help others.
7. Fill your life with positivity
This can take many forms! Maybe it means writing positive messages on sticky notes around your house that make you smile or feel motivated. Maybe it means creating an environment in your home that makes you feel relaxed. Maybe it means getting a pet to show you love. Maybe it even means trying to actively change your thoughts from a negative perspective to a positive one. Keep trying to bring in new ways to make your life and days feel more positive!
8. Work on healing the underlying cause
There is a cause for depression and by addressing that cause you can more easily shift and heal depression, returning to a life filled with happiness and joy. The most effective tools I’ve found for healing depression and stopping suicidal thoughts are found in the Lineage of King Salomon which is offered to the public by the Modern Mystery School.
Immediately after receiving my second step initiation and about three months after receiving my first initiation, I was able to stop taking anti-depressant pills because I was simply much less depressed and much happier. This is because these initiations help empower you to create the life you want, and strengthen your connection to spirit. This connection and empowerment, helped me to quickly shift my life.
I now felt aware of my purpose – what I’m here to do this life. Passion for that was sparked and with the increased empowerment, the trials of everyday life did not negatively affect me in the same way anymore. I had modalities and tools to raise my energy and to meet life instead of hiding from it. This was just the start of the healing process that led to the general resolution of depression which had plagued me for a third of my life, and this shift happened extremely quickly for me.
“This was just the start of the healing process that led to the general resolution of depression which had plagued me for a third of my life, and this shift happened extremely quickly for me.”
The Key to Fully Healing
With the help of Universal Kabbalah, I was able to address the ingrained patterns and childhood traumas that had caused my depression and suicidal thoughts. Using Kabbalah I was able to shift these patterns and heal this childhood wounding. This is the key tool I used for healing the core underlying causes of depression in my life and instead created a life filled with joy.
So more recently, when I had suicidal thoughts reemerge after being under extreme stress, I immediately went to the Modern Mystery School sessions and received two different energy sessions to help me return to my natural state.
The day of the second session, I experienced starting my morning upset that I was awake and absolutely hating my job. After receiving the session the next morning I woke up extremely excited to start my day, walking into work thinking “Good Lord I love my job,” and “I love my life.” The change was so quick and drastic, but that is because our true spirit selves are already happy. They are connected to all the love and joy, all we need to do is shift ourselves to be able to receive that.
“The change was so quick and drastic, but that is because our true spirit selves are already happy.”
When parts of our energy body are out of balance or if there are blockages that prevent us from connecting with spirit, this can manifest in depression and being suicidal. I’ve found the most effective tools to be working with address these core causes. There are not many mainstream methods of working with your energy in this way, which is one important reason for working with the Modern Mystery School can help so much.
I used therapy for years and although it helped me cope, no matter how much I tried to logically understand the root causes of my depression and suicidal tendencies, I could never shift myself to heal. I simply couldn’t. I knew I needed to be kinder to myself, to have more self-love, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it.
With metaphysical tools found in the Lineage of King Salomon and the Modern Mystery School, shifting myself and my patterns wasn’t impossible, it was actually something that occurred naturally as a result of shifting my energetic body and unlocking access to love and the light.
Where to Start…
A great place to start is with the Life Activation which strengthens your connection to spirit, balances energetic structures, and increases positivity in your life.
After the Life Activation, you can do the Fire Soul Infusion and Activation which opens gates to the soul and ignites a fire in your life, increasing passion and creativity. This Activation greatly helps in reducing apathy and depression.
Empower Thyself class and initiation is also really great to do, as you get tools and teachings for how to be successful in the physical, how to elevate your energy, and empowering you to create and live the life you want.
If you are suicidal or depressed, I truly hope you use the methods described above and find a way to reconnect with your spirit and the infinite joy that is available to you. If you want help and support, please reach out to me, my contact information is at the bottom of this article.
Murielle Tugendhaft specializes in helping others have more joy and happiness in their lives. She does this by using activations, energy healings, clearings as well as offering classes and meditations from the Lineage of King Salomon. Her hope is to assist others in true transformation, so that they may live their ideal life.
“Murielle has a special joy filled fairy-like energy that is a joy to be around. Murielle’s wonderful healing energy was exactly what I needed at the time. I highly recommend working with Murielle if you want to enjoy being engulfed in joyous wondrous light. She is a gift.”