Through Food, Bodywork and the Ancient Spiritual Path of King Salomon

Blood Pressure and Stress

Blood pressure is one of those vital signs often associated with age, although high blood pressure can be an issue for younger people too. Symptoms can escape your radar. Most of us are unaware of our numbers until we read them with a device, a cuff.

Or if you don’t, you might experience what I did, a few years back, when twice I saw rippling rainbows around everything and burst a blood vessel in my left eye.

I was warned: “Take this med or risk a heart attack or stroke!”

I’m not big on meds. My naturopath generally has other more natural choices, but even she said, “TAKE THE MED NOW!” All right, already! I did!

A few days later, I stepped onto our boat. All my life, I have felt more at home on boats than on shore. That day, as I sensed the familiar floating sensation, all my built-up stress melted away through my feet into the sea. Two days later, and still on board, I could hardly sit up and realized my pressure was too low, so I stopped taking the med and have never taken one again.

This showed me that stress was at the root of my blood pressure issue.

Finding a Holistic Way to Heal

We are led to believe that High Blood Pressure needs controlling with drugs. I wanted to find a more holistic and natural way to bring my numbers down and at the same time to live in greater wholeness and peace, and that is what I did.

I wanted to find a more holistic and natural way to bring my numbers down and at the same time to live in greater wholeness and peace, and that is what I did.

If your blood pressure is too high or if you are just plain stressed out, you might want to consider the following approaches, starting with food and bodywork and culminating with an ancient spiritual path which does a lot more than lower blood pressure: It transforms lives!     

Food: Quiet That Inflammation 

The American Diet Inflaming our Bodies

The American diet invites us to eat to our emotions and to have a sweet tooth, and for years even though I had chronic indigestion and was overweight, I had trouble beating my resistance to changing my diet. However, over time, I did try the blood-type diet, a metabolic diet, food testing, colonics, medical diagnostics.

I learned a lot, but there was not much relief.

Then, a most remarkable woman, a biochemist, started teaching a class: “To Quiet Inflammation Through Food”(TQI). She taught that arterial plaque, one player in high blood pressure, is caused by inflammation, which is also complicit in arthritis, multiple sclerosis, heart disease, cancer, autoimmune diseases, obesity… and the list goes on.

Thus, for about 10 years, I have been improving my health by quieting my inflammation through food. My joints work better, my fair skin doesn’t sunburn like it used to, I am down in my weight and my muscles are stronger and mind clearer. Best of all, that daily indigestion that I had had since childhood cleared up!

I have been improving my health by quieting my inflammation through food. My joints work better, my fair skin doesn’t sunburn like it used to, I am down in my weight and my muscles are stronger and mind clearer. Best of all, that daily indigestion that I had had since childhood cleared up!

My blood pressure, though not yet ideal, came down significantly.

All from food? A fair question. My naturopath could tell you that I am on bio-identical hormones, get Structural Integration and Cranial-Sacral sessions for my scoliosis and posture, and now and then, I use a hyperbaric chamber. I also take IVs on occasion and various supplements.

But food is foundational and has had the greatest measurable impact on my body, including on my nervous system, which is a huge player in stress and blood pressure.

Going Lo-Inflam 

Using Food to Heal

Committing to a diet which will quiet your inflammation takes a lot of discipline, patience, and dedication. Your kitchen, recipes, eating habits will have to change. We always hear “eat more vegetables”, but we are seldom told how much or why. Proportional eating which balances your food is at the core of the TQI plan. To strike a good balance, you should eat in this proportion: ⅓ protein/grain, ⅔ veggies, including herbs. You can eat some fruit if you want, but don’t overdo it!

To strike a good balance, you should eat in this proportion: ⅓ protein/grain, ⅔ veggies, including herbs.

Foods which are just plain bad for you include bad fats and anything deep-fried, GMOs, poor quality meat, refined sugar (including booze), artificial flavors and preservatives. Great-for-you foods include vegetables- the leafy greens are the best, nuts & seeds, whole grains, and fruits & berries. These foods lower your inflammation!

Great-for-you foods include vegetables- the leafy greens being the best, nuts & seeds, whole grains, and fruits & berries. These foods lower your inflammation!

These nutritious foods can be prepared to taste great and that is important!

For the first years of diet shift, I strayed into many junk food and emotional eating forays, and social over-eating in restaurants. But, I didn’t give up. When I needed to reboot, I retook the class, and over time I have gotten more and more clean in my eating and gradually more healthy. And better at making really yummy food!

This diet is the only weight-loss program that has ever worked for me and is often the reason people take the class.

Staying Committed

For treks away from home, plan ahead and pack your own food. It tastes and feels way better than anything from a restaurant. And you know what’s in it. Most restaurants don’t support this diet plan, but for that occasional restaurant meal, you can have a salad in addition to veggies with the main course and no dessert or just fruit and you are close to the target.

When you are feeling better after a few weeks, you might be tempted to cheat. Beware of straying into sugary desserts. They are very addictive and can sidetrack you off your plan! Try a good, juicy piece of fruit instead.

Choosing to Care for Your Body

The class I took covered things we should all know about food and the human body, what different foods do, their sources, what should be organic (+non-GMO), the truth about omega 3s and 6s and much more. If you aren’t ready to take a class, I highly recommend instead the two-book set, one on the plan, the other a cookbook.

Let’s face it, several times a day, through food, you get to choose how you will express your care or disdain for your body. What an amazing and sophisticated vehicle we have for our Spirit! It deserves your care and respect!

A Smokescreen: How the background inflammation obscures the reactions 

Understanding the Cause of Inflammation

If you are generally inflamed, as most of us are, this smokescreen of inflammation camouflages your body’s reactions to inflaming foods. Thus, your homework in the first three weeks of the class is to quiet the background inflammation, so you can experience your body’s reactions to specific foods as you add them back in. In this way, you get to customize your diet. I’ve had to get used to more obvious reactions to various foods without that smokescreen! These obvious reactions keep me honest!

Food sensitivities (as opposed to allergies, which are more severe) can be subtle, but over time, their cumulative effects can wear on and damage virtually every part of your body, from the buildup of plaque in your arteries and inflammation in your joints to subtle deteriorations in skin, ligaments, bones and soft tissue. On the front lines are your intestines and food can even affect your brain and teeth! My chronic tooth sensitivity cleared up. Who knew that teeth could be inflamed?

Inflammation is the hidden epidemic in our western population. The American diet is killing us! In learning about food and inflammation, I discovered we can make a different choice.

I suggest that if you want to be healthy, vital and young in your later years, consider checking this out, the sooner the better! Many young people just grab a burger and run. As we age, however, the toxicity, extra weight and lack of appropriate nourishment take its toll. A change of diet later can still help the older body heal, but why not start before you have a problem? I’m grateful that I started when I was 60!


Rofling and Cranial-Sacral

Since 1973, I’ve been getting all sorts of bodywork. For me, the most effective modalities have been Rolfing (Heller/Structural Integration and other offshoots), for its complete re-alignment of my posture and back, and Cranial-Sacral which has healed my neck. Early on, I was told that I could be headed for arthritis in my neck because of my not-so-great posture. Recently, to the surprise of my chiropractor, x-rays showed no arthritis and no deterioration. And this is after a couple of whip-lashes from car accidents! Cranial-sacral really helped those!

Body-Soul Connection

There is an amazing additional benefit from Rolfing, in how it sometimes brings up and can help you work through deep emotional trauma. My first experience with this was at 25 when my Rolfer worked his hands up under my ribs and I started to laugh uncontrollably. He seemed to “turn into” my brother and I experienced a full technicolor reliving of him OVER-tickling me. The Rolfer didn’t relent until my laughter was totally spent.

Before, my sides had been so hypersensitive that I would recoil rather than let anyone touch me. After that session, the hypersensitivity was gone. This experience alerted me to the body-mind connection, and the understanding that, “the body is the report card for the soul.”

Rolfing, sometimes painful and intense, and Cranial-Sacral, more subtle and gentle, continue to be important in my healing. Great bodywork keeps you free of cellulite, flexible, aligned and balanced. In some ways, I am gaining a better body than I’ve ever had! Getting more senior doesn’t mean we can’t still improve and evolve!

Great bodywork keeps you free of cellulite, flexible, aligned and balanced.

Exercise More Important Than Ever

I know my body isn’t 20, but as I have taken pretty good care of it and had great practitioners supporting me, it does very well. Exercise (yoga, qigong, chi do, walking) and diet are more important than ever and I love to use my stamina and vitality to express that physical woman self! At this age, I really don’t care who’s watching!

Last summer, I completed my third martial arts training camp, hanging in there with the 20-60 somethings, with a third level belt proudly tied around my slim waist!

The Mentality of Aging: Do we HAVE to get old? 

Reframing Our Views

What is “old”? Here are a few definitions: dilapidated, decrepit, broken down, worn out, shabby, threadbare, boring or tired, conventional, unimaginative. What if, instead, we decided on: Up in years, venerable, experienced, adult, Wise Elder, imaginative, spontaneous, strong, with integrity, personal authority, and bright! Maybe even ageless!

I suggest we question what we think we know about age and aging! We who are fortunate enough to see our 60s and beyond might take the opportunity to transform our relationship with the aging process, from a demeaning and degrading process to one of maturing like great wine! It is not too late to let go of whatever remains to keep us from the truth of who we really are and our joy in this knowing. We can find our freedom, our beauty, our life on our own terms and at our own pace.

We who are fortunate enough to see our 60s and beyond might take the opportunity to transform our relationship with the aging process, from a demeaning and degrading process to one of maturing like great wine

And, we elders as we re-discover ourselves can provide a much-needed foundation of strength for the younger generations as this world goes through its deep evolutionary shift.

From King Salomon, the Wise: We are at Cause

David gives Solomon plans for the Temple I Chronicles 28:11

How We Create Our Reality

In 2013, at 64 years old, I started on the ancient spiritual path of King Salomon, the Wise, brought to the public by the Modern Mystery School, which provides spiritual practices and reality-shifting concepts, like “We are eternal spiritual beings having a human experience.” When this starts to sink in, 70 years is hardly a hiccup in eternity!

The school teaches that as we are at cause in our lives, we create our reality. Thus, we have a choice to ask: “How much of my aging is caused by my ‘story’ about it?” And, “How am I telling my body to get ‘old’, or thinking like an ‘old’ person?” Even, “How am I moving through the world like I’m old?”

Recently, I remembered that the week I turned 50 (1998), I got forgetful. I thought, “OMG, I’m getting old! There goes my brain!” My knees were sore and stiff, “OMG, I’m getting old!… my joints!” And, that extra 30 lbs? “My mom and grandma ballooned at my age.” And, “Oh no! High Blood Pressure! Just like my dad!”

20 years later, all of these complaints have resolved. My mind is clearer and more focused, my knees don’t ache and bend just fine. I’m down from 150 lbs to a comfortable 122! Blood pressure is generally normal, though I still watch my stress level.

Rethinking the Cause of Health Complaints

We can withdraw the age card. Whenever you find yourself jumping to assign age to a symptom, why not pause and ask: “Really?” The answer could be “maybe not” or even: “No!” Does a person with symptoms in their 20s think they are getting old? Not likely! So why should we in our maturity think this?

In our western culture, there is an endemic and insidious negative consciousness regarding age. It takes vigilance to avoid being affected by this. I have been watching my own reactions to my contemporaries as they have broken bones, or had serious diseases. One friend in his sixties suggested this: “I might not get over this disease because of my age.”

At any age, a symptom is the body trying to get your attention. Think about how much damage we are doing to ourselves when we associate our ill health with the “inevitability” of age. It basically invites you to be a victim and give up, rather than listening and responding to your body and having faith in its ability to heal.

Aging and Purpose

Here for a Reason

My naturopath is a certified expert on anti-aging medicine. When I asked her if there are any aging processes in the human body that can’t be slowed down or even reversed, she said, “Not really”. She also said that when our cup is full and we have achieved our purpose in this world, it’s time to move on to the next world. Some people leave this dimension when they aren’t even sick. If you are on a mission based on a high calling in yourself, you will have time to further that mission to where it needs to go. When it is time, you graduate.

Getting more youthful isn’t about living forever, or escaping death. It is about living the best you can and being on the purpose you are meant to pursue at top vitality. As one of the top teachers in the Modern Mystery School says, “to do good and make beauty!”

Getting more youthful isn’t about living forever, or escaping death. It is about living the best you can and being on the purpose you are meant to pursue at top vitality.

If you imagine yourself on your deathbed and ask, “Did I accomplish what I came here for?”, you might be inspired to shift your priorities. Habitual processes, “ways I’ve always done things”, ideas about your limitations, and all the things you think you know can be sifted through for their validity and how they might need replacing and/or releasing.

Unlike old dogs, older people CAN learn new tricks!

It’s Never Too Late to Find Fulfillment

This spiritual path has taught me to embrace that shift, to be patient and present. Truly being on your purpose is challenging, transformative and alive. But before you start walking the path, it can look out of focus or perhaps out of reach! However, consider this: We are completely qualified to follow the journey we came here for, no matter what is in the way – even age. Getting older and seeing that our time no longer appears endless can be a huge motivator! We can be terrified, but step up and do it anyway. The maturity of later life can give us a wiser perspective.

Recently, I had dinner with two friends who had both had near-death experiences, one from a heart attack, the other, cancer. Each day inspires both of them to wake up with a smile. Each day is precious. That is also what the school teaches, that this one physical life is extremely precious.

Old Junk: The real AGE-er 

The Hidden Cause of Aging

For years, I have been looking deep inside myself for what has been aging me. Mainly, it has been unresolved emotional junk from my past. My big changes began with the growing acceptance of myself as Spirit (God) which made the releasing of the emotional junk more achievable. All this stuff had been cloaked in a negative life story I thought unchangeable because it looked so real.

According to the teachings from Modern Mystery School, this emotional junk was the contents of my Negative Ego and was THE BIG PLAYER in stress and blood pressure, because, like many of us, when my buttons got pushed, I felt nervous, alone and fragile. I realized that I was living through the lens of my hurt little child self. Now that I could see this, I also saw how so many of the people around me had similar issues! Unhealthy patterns of self-sabotage and self-limitation are so common to the human condition.

This was quite incongruous in my life as a trailblazing industrial designer and recording artist, activist, healer, captain, wife, and mother! Yet, over and over, I would hit a wall and a great dream would be stymied.

I had no idea how to grow this little self up. Years of therapy, though helpful to a point, really hadn’t worked.

Clearing the Negative Ego 

Releasing and Deep Stress Reduction

The Modern Mystery School provided what I needed.

As I got more in touch with my subtle energies and my subconscious, blood pressure stopped being a huge concern, because this path is the ultimate stress reduction process. I let go of stress I didn’t even recognize I was carrying.

The release of this junk sometimes felt like self-annihilation because I had thought I was it! Reconnecting with my joyful spiritual nature took the heat off and made the release much more possible. Then, the layers of those ingrained patterns I had identified with started looking suspiciously brittle and stale and melted away a bit at a time.

Becoming Younger

When our old patterns are gone, we can see how illusionary they were and wonder why we held onto them for so long, especially when they kept us small and miserable! With those patterns also went a lot of the emotional as well as the physical weight that was making me age, along with the stress that amped up my blood pressure. The process continues as the deeper layers present themselves, but having taken those first risks, I now know I can continue trading in the junk for JOY!

One of my teachers, who was about to turn 40 as I was about to turn 70, commented to me that since we met some five years before, I had gotten younger and younger. YES!

Going Deeper

Healing Our Relationship with Ourselves

This path comes down to our relationship with ourselves. One night, I found myself in a nightmare. I was being beaten on the back by someone who was fixing to destroy me for something I had done. Who or what was not clear. I had been beaten as a child and it felt something like that.

But, in the dream, I was alone. It took a while, but as I recovered, I realized I was doing this to myself! I was tearing my own cells apart, destroying my sense of worth. Whereas I couldn’t change what had happened as a child, I realized, “WOAH, WAIT! I CAN CHANGE THIS!”

Over the course of the following day, the negativity drained away. A brighter energy was replacing it! I was becoming able to make a different choice on how to treat myself.

Addressing the Real Roots of High Blood Pressure and Stress

My point is that the Path works us in our depths. It gets to the roots or as deep as you are ready and willing to go. This is where the real roots of blood pressure spring from, the pulse and pace of your life. I started to realize that my “workaholic” self went back to these roots, where I discovered a sort of panic to succeed, based on how I was measuring my worth by my output! Wasn’t I of value as a Divine being even without output? I could take more time to meditate, thus to get quiet and relaxed, more clear in my mission, more in joy! Meditating helps for the time you are meditating, but it also quiets the rest of your life. I started seeing blood pressure numbers lower than when I was 20.

This is where the real roots of blood pressure spring from, the pulse and pace of your life.

The School is there to remind us who we are and to support our success in a sustainable way and on our own terms and timing. This is self-help with the best possible tools and support, from a community of people who, in their own unique ways, are all heading in the same direction: Enlightenment!

A Little About the Path 

Connecting to Your Life Purpose

To get started on this spiritual path, there is Life Activation, which is a private session involving auric balancing and an infusion of Light. This starts you on the path to rediscovering your true life’s purpose. Over the months, life starts to flow more smoothly, doors open to new opportunities and things which no longer serve you fall away.

Empowerment and Foundational Teachings

The second step is a two-day class called Empower Thyself, which presents important spiritual ideas and realities and concludes with the Adept Initiation into this sacred lineage, which gives you a deeper infusion of Light and expands your ability to hold the Light. You will also learn rituals and meditation techniques to use in daily practice at home. There are rituals for centering, clarifying your priorities and focus, and awakening your spiritual self. Others are for protecting your environment and yourself. And, there is Chi Do. This simple Tai Chi-like exercise relaxes you at the same time as it builds your “chi”. Chi rejuvenates the body and clears the mind which makes the other practices more successful.

These processes all work together. I find them remarkable for how they have helped me gain back control of my energy and my life. And my youth!

After 40 years of prior spiritual seeking, I have finally found a process of empowerment which has actually brought me out of my suffering and into my joy!

Clarifying the Self and Healing

Remember my discussion above of that emotional junk? Next in the line of progression is a ten-month ascension program, Universal Kabbalah, which is a core metaphysical teaching in the school. Over the months, you are encouraged to learn about yourself from many different angles and to heal your Junk. Anything which is unresolved from your past and which clouds your reality is invited up, without judgment, to be seen and released. And as this “old junk” is healed, you progressively reclaim your true and divine self. Daily practices are key and supported through monthly study groups and four-weekend workshops. This individual process in a supportive group setting is beyond transformative!

Kabbalah provides a foundational understanding of life and how to be more present.

I was amazed at how much I learned and unlearned about myself in that ten months! And like many others, I have done the program more than once. Each journey builds on the one before and is unique unto itself.

Deep Support

To support you on all levels of the path are many healing sessions, custom-tailored to you. One of my favorites is Ensofic Ray Healing, the original and whole healing modality of Dr. Usui, who brought us Reiki. Ensofic Ray holds the energy pattern of the true and original blueprint of humanity as divine. Illusions we harbor which create disease can be transformed through this modality!

Ensofic Ray is not meant to replace the process of empowerment which is the school’s primary mission, but when there is a big stuck place, it can be most effective!

What I Learned

Healing Holistically

I could have taken meds to bring down my blood pressure. But instead, I stepped onto a boat and my blood pressure came down without drugs which showed me that was possible. Better food brought down my inflammation and continues to heal me. Bodywork continues to release and balance my physical structure and clears away old traumas.

Life Continuing to Change for the Better

And then, along came this 3000-year-old spiritual path I didn’t even know if I could trust, for what are the chances that this really is an ancient and true path to enlightenment? The only way to know was to try it! And THAT has really paid off! Six years later, I am still walking the Path, one day at a time. For me, my life continues to change in surprising and miraculous ways. I am getting younger and more mature at the same time. I have learned to keep my blood pressure in check because I am no longer feeling pushed around by my hypersensitivity to others.

One of Many

As initiates, we are told that many notable and important people throughout history have belonged to this Ancient Lineage, including Winston Churchill, Nikola Tesla, Isaac Newton, Carl Jung, Joan of Arc, Leonardo da Vinci and many others.

About 2000 years ago, another great initiate, Jesus of Nazareth, told us we could all do what he did and “greater things”. If you are inspired, let’s discuss how you might benefit from this lineage!

“The wound is where the light enters you.”  -Rumi

Revealing the Child

The Divine Child is our natural state at birth. We are born as clear and true vessels; however, we then experience the impact of life’s hardships and challenges and our true self becomes distorted.  The Child acquires wounds.  Depending on early experiences like physical abuse, extreme criticism, emotional neglect, or even simply the modeling of a parent with an unacknowledged child-self – from any of these we begin to deny this inner aspect.  According to Whitfield, in an un-nurtured or denied freedom of expression, the inner child forms a false-self, victimhood, and various manifestations of co-dependency.  Unresolved issues of the inner child are what are known as “core issues”.  Core issues of the inner child often express as difficulties in resolving emotional trauma.  And the accumulation of unresolved trauma or what may be called “attachment disorders” lead directly to symptoms like anxiety and depression, particularly if they are reoccurring and difficult to resolve.

Some of the most brilliant 20th-century minds in human psychology such as Carl Jung, Emmet Fox, Alice Miller, and Donald Winnicott coined the terms “Child Within”, “the Divine Child”, “Wonder Child”, or “True Self”.  In popular psychology, the inner child aspect of the Self is all that we learned and experienced as children, primarily before puberty.  These are the origins of much of our mental and emotional patterning carried into adulthood.  Essentially, the inner child is our childlike aspects of playfulness and joy and ease in the expression of what we feel.  According to Charles Whitfield, author of Healing the Child Within, the Child is alive, energetic, creative, and fulfilled in the present moment.  According to Whitfield, this concept has existed in the world for at least 2000 years.  The Mystery School tradition of Kabbalah has held knowledge of the “Divine Child” or “Golden Child” archetype from even more ancient times.

Inner Work, a Relevant and Ethical Imperative

Before opening the door to the room of the inner child, I feel it important to address the topic of inner versus outer work in the greater context of effecting change in our lives and in the world.  In our consumption of popular culture and mass media, we set our focus on what often feels like an external world without agency.  This world is filled with corruption in corporate America, Trump’s Tweets and missteps in international relations, elections and voter fraud, news on the hottest years in recorded history with record-breaking temperatures and droughts, hurricanes and wildfires and widespread states of emergency, the dramedy of Democrats versus Republicans, and the latest on Hollywood celebrities.

Knowledge of the world is important; however, over-emphasizing our attention on the externalities of the world is an imbalanced state.  Particularly for those of us who are empathic and a highly sensitive person (HSP), consuming worldly information can be an edgy, de-stabilizing diet.  It’s easy to become imbalanced with it, get turned-off, and disengage from active and positive participation.  For some, focusing externally fuels the flames of the ego’s desires for entertainment or distraction while keeping us a safe distance from being at cause of any real change.

Where are we using our external focus as a means of distraction or avoidance of what’s going on in our internal worlds and where is it just a healthy dose?  What ratio of our time is spent in quiet reflection, solitude, or meditation versus social interaction and media consumption?  Especially now, at this time of the most web-based, social media savvy, and cyber-connected global society – with all the good things that do come from that – many of us are on significant external information overload, if not overdosing.  For the majority of us, the focus is far out of balance.  Some level of focus on worldly, social, external events and conditions is necessary and good.  It means we care.  But an over-emphasized focus in the world can also be how we resist resolving our deepest wounds – what is referred to as our “core issues”.

As a student of ancient wisdom and Universal law – there is a saying, “As above, so below, as within, so without, as the Universe, so the Soul”.  From this ancient truth, the state of the world we are experiencing today is a mirrored reflection of the human soul – the collective and the individual.  Our bodies are literally water-based, electric conduits of thought and emotion flowing into the world around us from either chaotic or peaceful states (or levels of consciousness) at any given moment.  The truth is we all contribute.  Put another way, I impact the world around me with what I think, feel, say, and do.  And what I think, feel, say, is largely the world I experience.

The truth is we have ownership of this world on all levels.  Taking action from the realization of that truth, as one comes into it, is a great liberation.  And an even greater responsibility.

“We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say, ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.” – Fred Rogers

We are alive in a time period of complex ethical and moral opportunities and imperatives that we all take action steps.  Actions to address some of the biggest challenges humanity has ever faced: the issues surrounding carbon footprints and climate change, widespread social injustice, and epidemics in human health.  The responsibility to take ownership of this can feel very big at times.  Sometimes I have my moments of feeling very small, scared, and unsure about how I will make a difference in this world.  I also see this is an exciting opportunity because of the progress I have made.  I can see my purpose unfurling and revealing itself to me.  As Richard Bach, author of the book Illusions said, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly.”

Inhabiting a balanced center is where we truly have the power to transform.  In paying more attention to the world within, real breakthroughs and opportunities for external solutions – miracles – come through us into the world with far less struggle and far greater ease and joy.  Balance between these areas of focus is a crucial step towards taking control of our lives and the situations we find ourselves in.  Each individual’s rebirthing from within, will rebirth the world we’re ready for – a world in which all of humanity lives in peace and true prosperity.  This is called The New Paradigm.

On My Path of Change

In summarizing my own story, I have always wanted to make a difference or make things better in the world.  I’ve worked for that in various ways in my career and volunteerism.  I also worked on myself with numerous forms of psychological counseling for assistance with things like recurrent clinical depression beginning in my teens until my early 30s.  These tools helped but the deeper layers resisted and remained until I began utilizing metaphysical means of healing.  I have learned that when we are ready to face a trauma, the tools, situations and opportunities, and helpers present themselves.  On a trip abroad in 2013, I experienced a spiritual awakening event that altered my life’s focus and trajectory.  This event guided me to a synchronous meeting with a Life Activation practitioner and healer of the Modern Mystery School tradition – the ancient lineage of King Solomon in its modern-day form.  I was ready to explore a new approach to work “to make things better” by receiving a Life Activation, and in 2014 I entered into one of the oldest, most beautiful, rights-of-passage traditions on the planet today – initiation into the western esoteric mysteries and my now passion-filled work with Universal Kabbalah.

This tradition is designed to generate knowledge of all aspects of the Self and Universe with which we can then accept, transform, and integrate.  This occurs through a person’s individual, self-regulated, and guided process of awakening consciousness.  Levels of knowledge emerge from a practice of marriage between that which is handed-down and that which must be accessed within and understood through fully living and experiencing life.  Within this initiatory process I have moved and transformed through a safe, gradual, and pure path towards realizing the higher truth of who I am and my powers to create and experience beauty.  I have also come face to face with where my system is attached to trauma.

Disempowerment and co-dependence often have deep roots.  Co-dependence is a coping mechanism or strategy the wounded child may utilize (based on some type of fear or falsehood) to give away power, to play the “victim”, and have their needs met by another person.  A co-dependent relationship may even be with a substance like alcohol or marijuana that keeps this aspect of the self “muted and safe” from change.  Modern paths of healing like the 12-step program have made the topic of dependency or co-dependent patterns commonplace knowledge and helped many people into recovery from substance abuse.  However, the brain patterning and impulses to seek needs fulfillment in unhealthy relationships often remains. Co-dependent patterns keep us from supplying the real needs of the inner child by facing and sourcing these ourselves from the real person they ultimately want attention from.  Understanding co-dependency versus independence is a huge aspect true healing.  I dive more into the topic of co-dependency from an initiate and Kabbalist’s perspective in Revealing the Child, Parts 2 and 3.

As a warrior and healer of a traditional path my most radical tools are acceptance, courage, unconditional love, and forgiveness – empowered by the light I have access to as an initiate.

I am shifting from infancy into sovereignty by acknowledging and caring for all aspects of who I am.  Know that embracing this particular step of maturation is not an effortless task but it is worthwhile and there is a lot of joy to be had in the process.  Truthfully, it takes a willingness to move through and transform fear.  There must be a willingness to be uncomfortable at times.  Perseverance and endurance are needed.  And in choosing to work with and integrate all the pieces of me I can re-weave my internal patterning into more authentic joy.

By engaging both my internal and external worlds with the tools I have access to as an initiate, I am revealing how I am going to make my contribution – that “difference” I’ve always yearned for.  The difference is – I am making progress on purpose as a direct result of the shifts going on within me.  Moving into childhood trauma recovery is a crucial piece.  Gently, layer by layer this is occurring as I utilize the tools of a very pure spiritual path, modern physical-neural therapies, my guidance and intuition, and a unique blend of my own healthy, joy-creating habits.

Keys to the Path of Healing

The singular, most impactful tool always supporting me from the background is Universal Kabbalah or what is known as Mystery School Kabbalah.   Universal Kabbalah allows me to sieve truth from an empowered, whole-system place of understanding.  It is a highly effective, accelerated process of receiving ancient wisdom and gaining personal insight through direct engagement with the energies of the Tree of Life and the roots of human origins far beyond the physical.  The Tree of Life is a sacred geometric pattern.  It is the blueprint for the human being and infinitely more.

Universal Kabbalah is the quintessential, non-religious, non-dogmatic spiritual technology that works at the pace we are ready for, giving, illuminating, clarifying, and assisting us to release the roots causes and attachments that hold us back and to make the adjustments in our lives that move us into greater personal liberation and fulfillment.

There are so many – too many – of us suffering today.  Trauma, as defined by Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, is “a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury.”  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (as it has been categorized) is perhaps one of the more severe and most discussed symptoms of trauma.  Thankfully there are more and more tools to access and alleviate symptoms like this.  From my years of both experiencing debilitating depression and seeking far greater understanding than what’s available in popular culture, my perspective is that various forms of anxiety and mental illness are trauma-originated, often from something experienced early on.  Early childhood patterning is fairly well understood in modern psychology.

In large part, it’s our unconscious attachments to stored trauma and our own resistance to dealing with these pieces that proliferate the cycles of conflict we are seeing in the world and experiencing in our own bodies in the form of illness.  It is the courageous and strong amongst us who are dealing with and facing trauma today.

There also needs to be far greater understanding of how it’s treated – not just with pharmaceuticals (largely experimental at best), psychotherapy, or secular understanding of the human psyche alone.  Engaging in traditional psychological methods of coping during my periods of significant distress helped.  I believe forms of counseling and strategies like the 12-step program are needed at acute times and I’m grateful there are dedicated helpers in mental health sectors.  Moving through a cycle of mental health counseling can be a doorway to an awakening sense of self.   As an initiate, a spiritual scientist and healer, a Kabbalist, and someone who has experienced and lived with the effects of childhood trauma and mental illness, I also know that psychological treatments and mental health counseling alone often do not complete the cycle of knowledge and healing needed to break free.  In the secular search to heal with limited understanding of the Self (or understanding the Self as anything less than limitless), we may gain in relieving symptoms but we only gain so much in healing root causes.  For me, the empowerment I have needed for my Child Self to emerge has come through understanding both my human nature and my eternal nature.

In the search to be whole, I have discovered I must access all the pieces of me, including God.

To become effective in shifting my life and participating in a Shift on the planet, I need a real sense of divinity within me activated and expressing.  This must be there.  And let’s be real – the “not-so-God” or the “messy” pieces within me need attention and integration too.  Integration of every aspect is a must.  What we don’t see, we can trip over.  I have stumbled over and around a rather large piece for a while.  This is the piece of the child within me.  Sometimes she and I take face-plants directly into the mud – believe me, it can be messy and I often need to laugh good-heartedly at myself.

The Inner Child-Parent Relationship

Today, I am picking my adult- and child-Self up from the ground, dusting us off, holding her and talking to her ever so tenderly.  Particularly in working with the tools and insights I acquire through Universal Kabbalah, this little girl and I have begun to reunite.  This is a sacred, necessary relationship and a universal key to spiritual adulthood.  This inner work is a beautiful gift.  The more of us willing to do this, the faster we can all shift into resiliency, reconciliation, sustainability and peace on the planet.  All of this is linked.

The opportunity for a reunion with the inner child remains a hidden one within for as long as we neglect this relationship.  As an unacknowledged relationship, the wounded child contributes to much of the scared, manipulating, depressed, angry, frustrated, and confused states we experience in our lives. My search for healing and wholeness began with a thirst for understanding of my own situation and has evolved into deep compassion and hope for all of us.

“Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” – King James Bible, John 4:4

The Child aspect of the Self is as relevant today, if not more so, as it was in the 1960s when psychologists were describing it.  We are all seeking our way forward in an exciting yet very distracting and disturbing world.  This truest aspects of our Child and our souls need expression.  This inner relationship in need of cultivation with acceptance and compassion so we can know how to nurture the frequencies of resiliency needed in our marriages, our families, in our schools, workplaces, and our local and global communities.  Moving from co-dependence into spiritually independent adults is the archetypical 12-stages of The Hero’s Journey described by famous mythologist, story-teller, and author of The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell – who was also an initiate of the King Solomon tradition.  Ultimately, no one else can do our work for us.  In this journey, we become the real superheroes, warriors, leaders, and agents of change we idolize in stories and Marvel movies.

It is neither one’s age or worldly accomplishment, but acknowledging the presence of the inner child and taking responsibility for the child’s trauma that is the most relevant, noble, and progressive road towards becoming an adult in the modern age.  Through this process, we step into sovereignty.  Inner Child work is the game-changer of our lives and our world.

Healing and Dealing with Daily Life

Coming to grips with a core wound or trauma is an everyday, incremental process.  There is all manner of therapies and self-growth training available today that may support this process.  Some work better than others and some work for us for a while until we reach a stopping place that won’t dislodge or a plateau and there is nowhere else to go.   What I and countless other initiates in history and of the Modern Mystery School today have discovered is that the lineage tools passed on to us in programs like Empower Thyself Initiation and Universal Kabbalah Ascension continuously bear fruit.  These tools assist us to move through stopping places.  In continuing the path, we continue to accelerate the growth process.  The break-throughs keep coming.  There is always more.  The downloads and guidance are clearer and clearer so long as we are willing to show up and do the work.

Amidst all that I have described and emphasized, on Monday morning I too go to a workplace.  I also focus on creating stability in steady work and pay.  And I must make space for joy-filled play  – life is not just about hard work.  The best life we can create is one of balance between inner work and living life – this is my point.  When we are ready to work with the inner child on a daily basis they have five basic needs that must be met: to be seen, to be heard, to feel safe to express, to love, and be loved.  And much of this dialogue and focus is best done in meditation and inner reflection.  Certainly, the road to creating the conditions where these are fully met is not immediate nor is it realistic to expect it to be met externally by others.  And there is no magic pill to “fix us.”  We may need adjustments but it’s vital we understand that we are not broken – we are whole and sacred beings.  The simple act of bringing awareness around a core issue is progress.  And the lineage tools I use have made this process much easier.

Ultimately, healing requires a commitment to sourcing love unconditionally throughout the process.  From me, my child-self needs both stronger boundaries in some areas of my life to protect her and the letting go of false, fear-based walls or beliefs so she feels safe to express, to be able to love and feel deeply loved.  Radical self-care in the form of proper nutrition, sleep, meditation, bodywork, exercise, etc. is also huge.  It’s no longer okay for me to commit acts of self-harm through either neglect or over-indulgence of my needs in the very particular ways in which my child-self patterned after my parents.

It is my hope that if you are seeking and reading any part of this three-part Revealing the Child series you will see an aspect of truth for yourself in what I share.  It’s my dearest wish you will choose to take action – your time is precious, carpe diem – and reach for assistance in ways that work for you on your path.  You may be ready for the higher and deeper-level transformations that come with the Mystery School initiatory path and Universal Kabbalah Ascension.  Or you may not.  Listen and pay attention to your guidance.  If you are seeking and ready for more empowered tools beyond modern psychotherapies and self-help programs, I invite you to reach out to me, my contact information is below.  I am able to support you in moving forward, you are not alone, your soul’s expression is needed in the world and I would love to hear from you.

Whoever you are and wherever you are headed, be bold in finding the tools you need to reveal and express your truest self— your divine child within.  Honor this extraordinary hero or heroine’s journey you are on by taking action to continuously progress.  If this article touched you or the topic is of interest to you, I dive deeper into childhood trauma healing and adult recovery with the next of this article series: Revealing the Child, part 2: Facing Childhood Trauma.

“As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has–or ever will have–something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.” From The World According to Mister Rogers

Hate in Politics – Division and Stagnation

In today’s world, there is a lot of hate in politics. It is common to see vitriol directed towards the other side of the aisle on the internet, on TV, and conversations about politics. It is common for people to shun acquaintances, friends, and even family. It is also becoming more common to have people threaten violence or be violent towards people of differing political beliefs, from the pipe bombs that were recently sent to prominent Democratic leaders to the 2017 Congressional Baseball shooting.

For what purpose?

Hate does not produce changes in the opinions of others. If someone hates you for your beliefs, the common reaction is to become defensive and double down on your beliefs. So hate isn’t about changing someone’s mind, in fact, it generally has the opposite effect of people becoming more firmly rooted in their stance.

Generally hate is due to close-mindedness, and not being willing to entertain ideas outside of your own. If someone is open to new ideas, then they’d appreciate hearing a different point of view, not turn defensive, hateful, and angry.

Violence also does not achieve a change in opinion. It may change action out of fear for one’s safety, but generally, it inspires backlash and strengthens the group of people and cause at which the violence was directed towards. Neither hate nor violence helps further productive civil discourse, instead, they amplify division and combative relations.

I propose there is a better way for us to collectively operate in politics.

Haters want to divide us. But, we have much more in common with each other than we have apart. Where we differ is how we want to solve the problems that we all face. If we work together we would solve all the problems.

The Core of Politics – Guiding our Future

Working Toward Common Goals

The core of politics is deciding how to guide the larger community, whether it is your local town, state or the country. The goals are the same: a thriving economy, the safety of the citizens, and the freedom to live your life. The political differences boil down to differing tactics for how to work towards achieving those goals. Importantly, we have forgotten what we are working towards and have gotten caught up in the differences and turned towards fighting against.

“We have forgotten what we are working towards and have gotten caught up in the differences and turned towards fighting against.”

It is like we are on a boat embarking on a journey. Half the boat is trying to raise the mast to get to where we need to go, and the other half is trying to cast out a net to catch fish to sustain us on our journey. However, both efforts will be hindered by the other half’s actions. We need to coordinate to get to where we need to go and get the fish to sustain us.

What We Resist Persists

We are one community. We most definitely should have civil discourse, discuss and debate how best to guide the country. However, it much more effective to focus on what we’re moving towards and be willing to find solutions to agree to versus focusing energy on fighting the other side and fighting against differences in opinion. This actually backfires because what we focus our attention on grows and thrives, so by fighting against an idea, you are actually fuelling it.

Let’s take for example Donald Trump and his rise to the Presidency. In the primaries there were many people who vehemently and vocally disagreed with him and what he was saying, and what that produced was a lot of publicity and attention focused on him. That resulted in magnitudes more people hearing his message and many of those people rallying to support him. What people heard, wasn’t why not to listen to his message, they heard his message, and he this gained him support and he then won the primary and then the Presidency.

The people who disagreed with Donald Trump, wanted to raise awareness about what they viewed as his shortcomings, but what other people heard were reasons to support him. What we are seeing here, is only one example of how trying to focus on fighting the other side, actually fueled it.

In metaphysics, what we say, and even think, the universe hears and sends to us. However, negations are not heard. This means if you make a decision to not eat sugar, you may find a lot more sugary treats appearing in your life, at work, at home or at social events. All the universe hears is “sugar” instead of “no sugar.” This is where the saying arises “what you resist persists.” What we focus our attention on is attracted to us and thrives. This is why it is so important to focus on what you want to create and move towards something, versus focusing on what you don’t want because that will be what is created. This means putting things in terms of positive statements like in our example, focus on eating more healthy foods versus less sugar.

Finding What to Move Towards

Politics – A Broken Relationship

In partnerships when decisions need to be made, whether it’s a romantic partnership, business partnership, etc.,  you don’t ignore differing opinions of your partner. You hear them out, listen to their point of view with them doing the same for you, and then you come to an agreement for what to do.

Why do we collectively treat politics differently? Generally not engaging with the other side of the aisle to find an agreement on what to do, and instead simply battling for power between the two sides.

Creating the Best Outcome – Needing Both Parties

Politics is a dance of creation. There is a spectrum with two sides or polarities to it. In Kabbalah, there are also two polarities and each polarity is essential for creation and provides something unique. In politics today, the Democratic Party is one polarity, representing a very giving, nurturing approach to government. The Democrats propose social programs to support the community, advocate for acceptance of others, and change. The Republican Party is the other polarity, representing a more limited and protective approach to Government. The Republicans focus on the security of the borders, reduced regulation, recognition of God and tradition.

On the Tree of Life, the Democratic party aligns with the Spherah of Chesed – the Merciful King who takes care of his people in times of peace, and the Republican party aligns with the Spherah of Geburah – the Warrior King in the chariot, off to battle to defend his people and kingdom. Both are necessary for creation, without the severity of Geburah, the Kingdom would fall, and without the mercy of Chesed, there would be no prosperous kingdom to defend. In fact, Geburah and Chesed balance each other and create in the middle pillar, in Tiphareth, the Spherah of beauty and compassion. Both polarities are necessary for creation, neither is better or worse than the other and if there is not enough of one than the other goes out of balance. In other words, if there is not enough severity, mercy turns into enabling. If there is not enough mercy, severity turns into cruelty.

If we truly understand this, we can see the proposals of the other party as differing tactics and approaches for creation, and understand that both parties bring values that are necessary for a thriving country. We must also use our discernment to understand which proposals and values are in balance and support bettering the country and which are not. Doing this, we can start to see what both parties bring to the table that is unique, that helps bring balance and helps us formulate actions or policies in the middle to work towards.

Politics in our Lives and Relationships

Politics – One Small Part of how we Influence our Reality

We create our lives. We decide which people we want in our lives, we decide what we do with our time, we decide how we act and carry ourselves, and so much more. We should engage on every level available to affect our lives, and be active in creating the life we want. This includes politics. However, for the vast majority of us, politics is one small part of our reality.

What most impacts us, our happiness, joy, and fulfillment, are the things and people that we encounter on a daily or frequent basis. If you’re doing a job you love, if you have self-love, if you have fulfilling relationships, if you have passions you follow, all these impacts you and your life much more significantly than political policies such as tax levels, tariffs, foreign policies, etc.

Voting and participating in politics gives us a chance to voice which policies we believe will create the best results. But, we can’t lose sight of the fact that this is only one way in which we shape our lives. Moreover, most of us don’t do this for a living and therefore, aren’t experts so our opinions are based on the limited time and energy we have to research and form those opinions, and we’re also limited by the information available to us.

Shifting from Judgement to Acceptance

It is common for people to judge others for belonging to a differing political party or who they’ve voted for. It is common for people to unfriend others on Facebook due to differing beliefs, to end friendships, or even shun family members. But politics encompasses so many different issues, it is extremely hard to know why they chose what they did without an in-depth conversation. Because it’s difficult to know the true reasons behind someone’s political decision, assumptions are faulty. Moreover, political views are not what the vast majority of people have a lot of resources to devote to. Are we really going to decide how we view people or even if we include them in our lives, solely on their political views, especially when political policies have a relatively small impact on our lives?

What if we shift to a state of politics when we recognize engaging in politics simply as an opportunity to voice beliefs about how to better the country and work together collectively to achieve that goal?

I propose that we’d end up with much better, stronger policy proposals. Right now, the state of politics is so divided, we have each side operating in silos and producing ideas in echo chambers of agreement. We do not give an opportunity for criticism, to allow room to look critically at proposals and to readjust and improve based off of that feedback. Echo chambers produce more extreme and flawed proposals; we need outside and differing perspectives to strengthen ideas.

We are One Community, One Country

Division Creates Lose-Lose for Everyone

We are one community, one country. By having a dynamic of “it’s us against them,” there will always be a war going on inside the country and in politics. Instead of building something better, our energies are focused on tearing each other down and “defeating” the other. However, there really is no defeating the other nor is there any winning. There is only lose-lose. For, having an antagonistic dynamic, just means that any progress or headway one political party makes when they have power in the Government, the other will undo when the tides change and they get control. We’re seeing that now with President Trump undoing many of the policies that President Obama enacted, from leaving the Paris Climate Agreement to rolling back business regulations to withdrawing from the Iran nuclear deal, just to name a few.

Working as a Unified Force – How We Reach Our Goals

By working together, hearing what the majority of people want, focusing on what the majority of us agrees on, we create a unified force that will work together towards making a better country. We need to find a way to come together, focusing on what unites us, seeing the benefits the other side has to offer, and creating an atmosphere of true cooperation.

There is the famous saying “United We Stand, Divided We Fall” and this is very apt. If we continue in this way, we will make very slow, if any, progress in improving this country and expend much of our energy in fights and disagreements; energy that could otherwise be used in a more productive manner to help us achieve the goals we all want.

Politics to Personal Life

Healing Yourself

There is a metaphysical saying “As within, so without. As without so within.” In other words, the inner world is mirrored in the outer world and vice versa. This means that since collectively, the realm of politics is one of hate, adversary, and division, then on the individual level, inside of each of us is hate, adversary and division. The question arises then, what parts of yourself do you dislike, shun or ignore? What parts of yourself aren’t you accepting or perhaps even acknowledging?

If we lived in a world, where everyone was living in alignment with who they really are, fully aware and accepting of themselves, then we would not have the hatred in politics we see today. Hatred and anger stem from sadness, grief, and wounding that has not healed. If you find yourself becoming angry or hateful, ask yourself where this feeling originates from, when in your past did you first feel this? But understanding where this feeling comes from, you can heal and shift. Some helpful tools like meditation, specifically the Sanctuary Meditation taught by the Modern Mystery School, really help in uncovering where anger and hate originate from and healing that trauma from your past. Doing this, helps you be more present, centered, and let go of repeating negative patterns tied to this wounding.

Compassion for Others

Importantly, recognize the wounding in others. Everyone, whatever choice they make, they generally believe that what they’re choosing is the right thing to do and have reasons for their choice. So, if someone is choosing to say or do something hateful, or believes something politically that you strongly disagree with, venture to understand why they might be making that choice, and why they might believe that is the best thing to do. It is likely that they had some sort of trauma when they were younger, and their choice now is directly due to a pattern they created as a result of that trauma. Have compassion for others. This does not mean enabling them or avoid addressing the issue, but it can mean helping them to see the pattern and then perhaps them choosing to shift. By having compassion, understanding that we all have patterns from times we were hurt as children, we can better assist each other and ourselves in letting go of these patterns and choosing wiser actions.

What you can do

If the outer world reflects the inner world, the best thing you can do is to start healing your inner world. Find ways to accept all of yourself, heal past traumas, and understand who you truly are. Doing this will also help you move towards a life filled with love, joy, and fulfillment.

Extremely effective ways to do this are found in the ancient Lineage of King Salomon, brought to the public by the Modern Mystery School. There are metaphysical modalities and teachings that assist you in this healing and empowerment. Universal Kabbalah is extremely effective at helping people to see themselves clearly, see how they are preventing themselves from creating the life they want, and understanding how to create effectively and from a place of balance.

Overall, if we are to make any progress as a society. If we are to achieve the shared goals of a thriving, prosperous community where we are free and safe to live our lives, we must shift how we approach politics. We need to find a new way of being, of cooperation and acting as a unified force. We need to work towards finding win-win solutions for everyone, and we need to recognize the value that different perspectives bring to the table. Shifting this collective pattern starts by shifting yourself; how you approach politics and healing patterns of anger and hate within yourself.

If any of this resonates with you or if you’d like to know more. Please reach out to me, I am happy to discuss this further. My contact information can be found at the bottom of this article.

I truly believe that we are all in need of healing.

The goal of this article is to share some personal tips on how to begin that forgiveness process so we can all move forward with healthier relationships, and lighter hearts. By holding onto anger and pain, we are giving away our personal power to others or situations. This anger and pain continues to trigger our old, unhealed emotions and blocks our joy and freedom. I have spent the last 2.5 years releasing pain and trauma by walking a spiritual path guided by the teachings and healings of the Modern Mystery School. In this article, I share some of my personal best practices and thought patterns that I’ve embraced to release anger and pain from past unhealthy relationships and the path forward through forgiving.

We all come from various walks of life and different backgrounds, yet one thing that we all share is having some level of pain or trauma from childhood relationships or ones that formed later into teens and adulthood. Many people are being abused and bullied by others, and one of the most common explanations is that they too are experiencing pain and are lashing out.

It’s likely that if you’re reading this article, you already have a desire to heal. We must be willing to let go of anger and pain from our past relationship wounds for the below steps to work.

1) Everyone is healing at their own pace.

We all are walking on our own path of learning and growth. Regardless of age or background, everyone is at a different place with knowing themselves and how they’re choosing to engage with the world. Whether people have an awareness of their choice to progress is a different topic altogether.

This is a key nugget of information that I remind myself of often. In saying this, I am not condoning the actions of others that have caused pain or have been abusive in some way. It is unacceptable to cause harm or hurt one another. We can, however, give people the benefit of the doubt that they are doing their best based on the tools and experiences they have available. This has helped me not take things so personally.

Additionally, one of the 7 hermetic principle states “Every Cause has its Effect; every Effect has its Cause; everything happens according to Law.” Based on my understanding of this principle, I decided that it’s not my job to punish someone or make them suffer due to the pain they’ve caused me. What I can control is how I let their actions or behaviors affect me.  It’s within my power how I choose to treat others, especially when I experience pain or hurt. It is a great reflection of my own growth and commitment to put out the energy I want to receive back in return.

Their reality is not my reality and their opinions are not my own. Each of us experiences situations and circumstances differently based on our own filters. These filters live within the subconscious mind and are created during our developmental years through programming or beliefs instilled within us. 

This step helped me begin to shift my perspective in an empowering way.  It helped me realize that how someone else treats me has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with them. I started to have compassion for them and came to the understanding that they were probably hurting if they were lashing out in a negative way.

2)What qualities can you esteem about them?

This can be a tough step, especially if you have a hard time thinking of this person without being reminded of the pain they caused you. But this step can help you remember that they are another divine being, not some evil nemesis sent here to torture you.

For many years I tried talking about my past relationship wounds with a licensed therapist. This step I received from a therapist I was seeing years ago. After numerous conversations where I would in detail explain all the reasons why this person, who caused me so much pain, was such a terrible person.

Our therapy sessions became a time for me to replay, repeating story after story, the pain this person caused me by staying attached to the victim-perpetrator dynamic between us. My therapist once asked me, ‘well what do you like about this person?’ I remember sitting there dumbfounded for a few minutes.  

My association with them was often about all the qualities that validated why I felt they were a terrible person. But to think about what I liked about them required me to drop my guard a little and shift my perspective. Certainly, this person was well liked among other colleagues and family members. What we’re some ways I viewed this person in an esteemed manor?

Slowly, I started to make a list of qualities I admire about this person and I was shocked. From this new perspective, I started to see this person in a new light versus the character they had played in my storyline. They were more than this role I had cast them to in my life.

3) Express how you feel.

One of the hardest things to do can be sitting them down and expressing how you feel. Now please use discernment here, there may be some situations where it’s not possible for you to communicate with them or it’s not within your best interest to meet with them.

Another option is to write them a letter and then safely burn it to symbolize your readiness to let go. For situations where this person is still in your life, but you feel like there are unhealed pieces from the past, try to sit them down in a calm environment and express how you feel. Remember to make it about you and to use “I felt” or “I feel” statements.

The goal here is to release and express your emotion so you can find a resolution. It’s important that we don’t repress our emotions because this can cause continued cycles or patterns of similar relationship dynamics in the future.

This step will not be helpful if you start to get into blaming statements about what they did to you or make them responsible for your personal emotions. You may be surprised to find that they too have a unique perspective to share with you. They may also be completely oblivious and not realize that their interaction with you caused you so much pain.

Regardless of the outcome or how they respond to your conversation, the goal is to get it off your chest and let it out so you can free yourself from the emotional weight of holding on. This step also helps us to take an empowered approach to our healing versus staying stuck a victim mentality by latching onto the story of what they did to you. As I have healed my personal past relationship wounds, the way I saw the person and interacted with them shifted as well.

Freedom is ahead.

The journey to healing our past relationship wounds is going to be unique for each person but my desire is that the above steps can provide some guidance or a different perspective for you.

One piece to keep in mind during this entire process is that you’re working through this for you, not for someone else. This is about you and your healing and being able to move forward in life.

One of the benefits I’ve found with studying with the Modern Mystery School is the initiation process helped me start healing at an accelerated rate. The lineage tools and the adept initiation helped me release emotional baggage I had been subconsciously carrying for years, recreating cyclical patterns in my life.

As I raised my vibration to one of more joy and forgiveness, I gained a whole new perspective on relationships that had been challenging for me in the past. This lifetime is such a gift where we are meant to learn and grow from our experiences, not stay stuck in a place of pain or suffering.

To talk more about healing past wounds and beginning your own transformation, contact me.

We all deserve to be happy and joyful. We all deserve lives we want to live. From the bottom of my heart I truly want to help others who are struggling with depression and being suicidal. I’ve been there, I want to help. You deserve more.

My Recent Struggle

Recently, I was reminded of how tough it is to be suicidal. I was under enough stress that I started having suicidal thoughts (again) and it had been several years since I had felt that way.

It was interesting to re-experience that place because I could better understand how others in a similar place might feel and I was able to more clearly remember how I made it through the first time. With this clearer understanding and remembrance, I felt I could now share the tools that got me through it to others, to help them make it through as well.

What I experienced was no real change to how my life looked on the outside, but I was utterly depressed and in pain. When I woke up in the morning, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness that I was alive. I spent close to an hour just crying in the morning because I was awake and alive.

I reached out to get the needed help and I am back to loving life more than ever. But, this experience reminded me of what it was like to be suicidal and how I coped and then healed the first time. I want to share what I’ve learned in hopes that this helps others who are in a similar position.

My Fight with Depression and being Suicidal

Starting at around age 12 and going until I was about 21 I was plagued with depression. No matter how hard I tried, or how much I wanted to be happy, I never could find sustained happiness, only fleeting moments here and there. During this time I was keenly aware that dying would end the pain, although I also knew that wouldn’t get me what I truly wanted – happiness.

What I finally was able to discover is, the root cause of my depression was tied to a lack of acceptance I experienced from the world around me. I had enough people close to me in my life that told me I wasn’t good enough or wasn’t doing things right. I internalized that and believed them that I wasn’t good enough as I was. This drove me to have no self love.

Love is essential to being happy, and with no self love, I wasn’t even able to receive the love offered to me by others.

But, what carried me through the really hard times was the hope and knowledge that life has more to offer than what I was experiencing.

Believe me, I understand the feeling of “this isn’t ever going to end”. I dealt with eight years of ongoing depression. It felt like every time I was able to crawl out, it was only a matter of time before I fell back into the bottomless pit of despair and pain. But I knew I could change it, and I was determined to do so.

So, here is how you can get through being suicidal to be able to live a happier life:

1. Have hope –  Pray

Having hope that life can get better is key. A huge help to me was praying to God at night. I felt comforted by that connection and it sustained my hope by knowing there was someone out there to support me and that my desire for happiness was being heard. This gave me hope that one day my depression would get better and I’d be happy.

Now, not everyone feels comfortable praying to God or they don’t believe in God and that is okay! You can also pray, or talk to, your Higher Self. Your Higher Self is the part of you that is beyond the physical and gives you guidance. You can also speak to the Universe and ask it to help you, as everything comes from and is a part of the Universe.

2. Never give up

One of the best things you can do is keep trying new ways to find happiness. Never give up on trying to do that! When you keep trying new activities, ways of living your life, techniques for healing, etc. you have a better chance of succeeding and finding that happiness!

3. Be kinder to yourself

A lot of times by focusing on your mistakes and by being hard on yourself, that will make you feel depressed and not good enough. So be kind to yourself, realize that everyone makes mistakes. Focus on what you did well, your wins and what you can learn from the times when you do make mistakes.

4. Find people who accept you

Depression and being suicidal can be caused by and fueled by a sense of loneliness, by finding people who truly accept and love you as you are, you can counteract this feeling. You can try to find these people by joining groups focused on a topic or hobby you enjoy, or you can strengthen existing relationships that you already have.

5. Cultivate your own self-love

Tell yourself all the reasons why you love yourself. Each day come up with three to ten aspects of yourself that you love and write them down.

6. Find what you are passionate about

Being apathetic, not caring, is central to depression. If you can find something that you are passionate about, that ignites your desire to act and do, you will have something worth following! With depression it can be hard to get out of bed in the morning, to get ready, or to leave the house, give yourself something you are excited about so that getting ready isn’t so bad.

Taking this a step further, when you’re suicidal, having something you are truly passionate about makes life worth living and gives you a reason to push through the tough times. Especially if this passion is focused on helping others on some way, you can take the focus off of yourself and feel the need to push through to help others.

7. Fill your life with positivity

This can take many forms! Maybe it means writing positive messages on sticky notes around your house that make you smile or feel motivated. Maybe it means creating an environment in your home that makes you feel relaxed. Maybe it means getting a pet to show you love. Maybe it even means trying to actively change your thoughts from a negative perspective to a positive one. Keep trying to bring in new ways to make your life and days feel more positive!

8. Work on healing the underlying cause

There is a cause for depression and by addressing that cause you can more easily shift and heal depression, returning to a life filled with happiness and joy. The most effective tools I’ve found for healing depression and stopping suicidal thoughts are found in the Lineage of King Salomon which is offered to the public by the Modern Mystery School.

Immediately after receiving my second step initiation and about three months after receiving my first initiation, I was able to stop taking anti-depressant pills because I was simply much less depressed and much happier. This is because these initiations help empower you to create the life you want, and strengthen your connection to spirit. This connection and empowerment, helped me to quickly shift my life.

I now felt aware of my purpose – what I’m here to do this life. Passion for that was sparked and with the increased empowerment, the trials of everyday life did not negatively affect me in the same way anymore. I had modalities and tools to raise my energy and to meet life instead of hiding from it. This was just the start of the healing process that led to the general resolution of depression which had plagued me for a third of my life, and this shift happened extremely quickly for me.

“This was just the start of the healing process that led to the general resolution of depression which had plagued me for a third of my life, and this shift happened extremely quickly for me.”

The Key to Fully Healing

With the help of Universal Kabbalah, I was able to address the ingrained patterns and childhood traumas that had caused my depression and suicidal thoughts. Using Kabbalah I was able to shift these patterns and heal this childhood wounding. This is the key tool I used for healing the core underlying causes of depression in my life and instead created a life filled with joy.

So more recently, when I had suicidal thoughts reemerge after being under extreme stress, I immediately went to the Modern Mystery School sessions and received two different energy sessions to help me return to my natural state.

The day of the second session, I experienced starting my morning upset that I was awake and absolutely hating my job. After receiving the session the next morning I woke up extremely excited to start my day, walking into work thinking “Good Lord I love my job,” and “I love my life.” The change was so quick and drastic, but that is because our true spirit selves are already happy. They are connected to all the love and joy, all we need to do is shift ourselves to be able to receive that.

“The change was so quick and drastic, but that is because our true spirit selves are already happy.”

When parts of our energy body are out of balance or if there are blockages that prevent us from connecting with spirit, this can manifest in depression and being suicidal. I’ve found the most effective tools to be working with address these core causes. There are not many mainstream methods of working with your energy in this way, which is one important reason for working with the Modern Mystery School can help so much.

I used therapy for years and although it helped me cope, no matter how much I tried to logically understand the root causes of my depression and suicidal tendencies, I could never shift myself to heal. I simply couldn’t. I knew I needed to be kinder to myself, to have more self-love, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it.

With metaphysical tools found in the Lineage of King Salomon and the Modern Mystery School, shifting myself and my patterns wasn’t impossible, it was actually something that occurred naturally as a result of shifting my energetic body and unlocking access to love and the light.

Where to Start…

A great place to start is with the Life Activation which strengthens your connection to spirit, balances energetic structures, and increases positivity in your life.

After the Life Activation, you can do the Fire Soul Infusion and Activation which opens gates to the soul and ignites a fire in your life, increasing passion and creativity. This Activation greatly helps in reducing apathy and depression.

Empower Thyself class and initiation is also really great to do, as you get tools and teachings for how to be successful in the physical, how to elevate your energy, and empowering you to create and live the life you want.

If you are suicidal or depressed, I truly hope you use the methods described above and find a way to reconnect with your spirit and the infinite joy that is available to you. If you want help and support, please reach out to me, my contact information is at the bottom of this article.

There’s no doubt about it, growing up these days is rough. And young people today are pulled in so many different directions. Our girls receive so many contradictory messages about what it means to be female, what it means to be a “grown up,” how they should express themselves and what it means to wield power.

As our girls grow, mixed messages about beauty, self-worth and “fitting in” all get stirred into a boiling pot of hormonal changes. The result is a HUGE challenge for our young girls to establish a clear and solid sense of self-esteem before the pressures of young adulthood begin.

The results of this can be seen in the increasingly high levels of anxiety that families report for the pre-teen and teenage girls. The need for medications to help regulate mood and a sense of mental well-being is also on the rise. And the use of recreational substances amongst younger and younger ages can be seen more and more to sometimes devastatingly tragic ends.

As parents, it’s so hard to sit back and watch all of this. The things our girls are dealing with seem to be all that we went through and a WHOLE LOT MORE. The added pressures and challenges of the digital age are adding stresses to the growing up process that we can’t quite fully comprehend.

What can we do to ease the pressure and help our girls during the transition into adolescence and into adulthood? What can we do to help them cultivate strong and resilient self-esteem?

We can give them a Goddess Connection!

First of all, what is a goddess connection?

A goddess connection is an awareness and an understanding that goddess energy exists, and that there is much to be learned and gained by exploring it. For the majority of the population, including women and girls in today’s world, their exposure to the Divine Feminine is minimal. This creates a skewed sense of value for those in a female body.

There is a giant missing piece in the bigger picture of how things are. When God is viewed as solely male, there is no possible understanding of how our feminine energy fits in to the picture.

This leads to confusion, lack of self worth, disconnect from divine purpose and much more. These negative repercussions have become ingrained in our collective consciousness in the form of unhealthy beliefs, patterns and programming.

Day after day, I see women in my practice as a spiritual empowerment guide who don’t know how to value themselves. Women put the opinions of the men in their lives above their own self-regard and self-direction. Instead of holding the connection to their own inner guidance as sacred, women question the validity, value, and worthiness of their own desires and activities. Deeply imbedded in the psyche of the modern woman is the belief that the opinion of men is somehow more “divinely aligned” because it is only the Divine Masculine that is represented by the concept of “God.” That is only half the picture. The other half is the Divine Feminine–the Goddess. We must get to know the Goddess and teach our daughters about the Goddess to rebalance the spiritual energy of the planet.

By giving your daughter (and yourself) a goddess connection, she then has the opportunity to cultivate a much deeper and healthier sense of who she really is and how she is valuable.

5 Reasons to Give Your Daughter a Goddess Connection

  • Each one of these represents an understanding she can gain from working with goddess energy that specifically addresses a common issue or challenge in our current culture.
  • Each of these understandings counteracts certain beliefs, programming and patterns that deteriorate our daughters’ self-esteem.

#1 – The Goddess naturally lives within her.

At our core, we are all spiritual beings. And that spiritual aspect of us is directly connected to divine source—both masculine AND feminine. The Divine Feminine is present in all of us—and especially so for those in a female body.

The understanding that the Goddess lives within her counteracts the belief the feminine (and therefore girls and women) are somehow “less than” our male counterparts.

The masculine and feminine are equally valuable when it comes to what we need for a balanced and healthy physical existence. For many girls, the focus on the masculine as the source of power or as the main expression of power creates an internal conflict around self-worth.

Understanding that, as girls, they have a direct connection to the divine feminine within themselves completely shifts how they can view themselves and their value in the world.

#2  – She wields inherent feminine power and creativity.

Feminine energy is powerful. It is not weak. It is not even necessarily soft. Feminine energy is what keeps the structures, the containers of creation, the receptacles intact. It is the womb—and it is inherently creative.

The understanding of what feminine power and creativity actually are counteracts the disconnect that exists for girls regarding what our innate power and creativity look and feel like.

Because our culture has emphasized the masculine style of creating, governing and wielding power, it is difficult for girls to know that the feminine style of creation really is.

By giving girls an understanding of this power and creativity, they can begin to consciously own it for themselves—using it and restoring that connection as a result.

#3 – She is capable of so many different forms and styles of self-expression.

As humans, we are multi-faceted beings. And the goddess is even more multi-faceted—with so many different forms and expressions! Because there has been a lack of divine feminine energy present in our world over the last several thousand years, we have lost touch with the diversity of her expression.

The understanding that one being can have MANY different ways to express who she counteracts the pattern and belief that there is “one way” for us to express ourselves.

There are, in fact, SO MANY ways for us to show the world who we really are. When girls feel limited about how and where it is safe to express, they shut down and cut off certain parts of themselves.

By exposing them to different forms of self-expression, they are given permission to explore different ways—that are more authentic for them—to express who they truly are.

#4 – Her experience of life will have cycles within cycles.

(specifically the maiden/mother/crone cycle and the cycle of death and rebirth)

Feminine energy is inherently cyclical. And those in a female body also inherently work with cycles. Beyond the most obvious one of our monthly menstrual cycles, we are also tied into many cyclical rhythms that exist in nature, and in the very fabric of our physical reality.

The understanding of cycles and specifically the death/rebirth cycle counteracts the misconception and disconnect that exists around the “dark phase” or the “death process” in the feminine cycles of creation.

For the most part, this part of the cycle of rebirth is either ignored or vilified in our collective consciousness. This is true in regard to our menstrual cycles with menstruation being “glossed over,” feared or suppressed.

It is also apparent in the life cycle for us as women—with the greatest “value” given either to the maiden or mother phase, and the crone (or post-menopause) phase being disregarded, discounted, feared and avoided.

By helping girls understand the value and purpose of all 3 phases of the cycle, we restore a huge piece of what has been lost in the way of access to feminine wisdom.

#5 – She is part of the greater sisterhood of goddesses

One of the negative results of our disconnect from our own inner goddess is how it affects our relationship with other girls/women. The self-judgment or shame we feel due to our own disconnect gets projected outward onto our sisters (other girls and women close to us) resulting in the “mean girl” “cat fight” or competition that shows up between females.

The understanding that ALL girls are a part of the sisterhood of goddesses counteracts the patterns of competition, in-fighting, back-stabbing and viewing other girls as the enemy.

When girls are taught to honor the divinity within themselves and see the goddess in each other, we create a beautiful tapestry that will truly help create peace on earth.

By connecting our girls to the greater sisterhood, they get the chance to practice, mirror and reflect the brilliance of who they really are with other girls instead of playing small or feeling boxed in.

Establishing healthy and vibrant Self-Esteem

The goddess connection is all about helping your daughter establish healthy and vibrant self-esteem.

That self-esteem brings about:

  • Greater self-worth
  • Greater self-confidence
  • Greater self-respect
  • Greater creativity
  • Greater self-development
  • Greater self-exploration
  • Greater self-realization

With this quality of self-esteem as the underlying foundation of her self-development, she will have the resilience and strength to handle whatever comes her way–giving her what she needs to become a capable and empowered young woman.

Not only is this what she needs, it is also what the world needs!

And the #1 way to help establish this connection for your daughter is to awaken that connection within yourself! As mothers, we can reflect the truth, beauty and power of the divine feminine directly to our girls.

By honoring the feminine cycles, the creativity, the power and strength of the structures we hold, you can establish your own goddess sisterhood to invite your daughter to join alongside you–giving her an example to follow and a safe place to express the fullness of who she is!

For deeper guidance into this process, and for stories, inspiration and motivation regarding the wisdom of the Divine Feminine and awakening your own Goddess Connection, check out our Sisterhood of the Goddess online community:

From there you can explore resources and continue to flow the beauty of the divine feminine essence through to your daughter and to the world!

Air is one of the 5 elements, along with Earth, Water, Fire & Spirit. In the Modern Mystery School, balancing each of these elements is essential to creating and maintaining a healthy thriving body, mind and life. Breath is one way that we can work with the element of Air. Our breath is the movement of life!

It’s pretty easy to understand why we need to remember the element of Air. Daily living is full of pressure, we feel overworked and under-rested. We are constantly under a barrage of rules and societal expectations, not to mention our own mind chatter which can tip over into unhealthy and negative thoughts on “one of those days”.  No wonder we need to slow down and just breathe!

The 3 exercises I’m sharing with you are very simple. You will spend only a few minutes a day doing them and they give pretty incredible results when done consistently. The breath is powerful, and it is the first to become compromised when you are stressed! Your skin will begin to show the signs of stress over time, and going back to the breath is an essential part of rebalancing your skin.

3 Breathing Exercises for Beautiful Skin

Don’t wait until you find your skin – and yourself – stressed out! Use these breathing methods daily to keep stress levels down, oxygenate your blood, nourish your organs, and maintain a healthy body balance.

Morning Bliss Breathing 

When your alarm goes off do this exercise right away before you even open your eyes or get out of bed!

  • Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose and imagine / visualize Light coming into your body through your breath.
  • Breathe out through your mouth, parting your lips gently and sighing the air out.
  • As you breathe slowly and deeply in, and gently out, imagine walking through your day and everything you want to happen.
  • As you breathe, feel the ease of moving through your daily life course through your veins as it rides your breath. Smile to yourself as you breathe, sensing the bliss coming into you.
  • Feel the energy of your bliss riding your breath and filling every part of you. Radiating out until you feel it coming out through the pores of your skin, penetrating and engulfing you in the energy of how blissful your day is going to be.
  • Open your eyes, keep smiling, go forth and live your vision!

Basic Deep Breathing

Set your phone timer for 50 minutes when you sit down to work.

When your timer goes off, do the Deep Breathing exercise.

Deep Breathing Exercise

  • Stand up.
  • Loosen up your body with some light stretching, making sure to open up your chest. Do a few head rolls.
  • Jump up and down a few times to get your blood moving.
  • Now breathe in through your nose, visualizing your breath going into the deepest parts of your lungs.
  • Make sure you keep your feet anchored firmly on the ground.
  • As you breathe in feel your chest and abdomen expanding on all sides. Imagine your lungs as large balloons.
  • As you breathe out through your mouth, imagine you are blowing bubbles and don’t stop until all of the air is released from your lungs.
  • Breathe in again, slowly and deeply.
  • Repeat for 1 – 5 minutes to your comfort level.
  • When you sit down again to get back to work, set another 50 minute timer! Repeat 🙂

This deep breathing exercise not only oxygenates your blood, but it gives your brain a much needed break. Doing this exercise many times during your day will help keep stress to a minimum as well.

Most people breathe from their upper chest, which not only deprives your body of a full dose of oxygen but breathing this way strains the upper chest muscles and contributes to neck strain!

You’ll stay alert longer and leave work less tired! All while making sure your skin is getting the life-giving oxygen it needs for a healthy glow.

Bedtime Relaxation Breathing

A good night’s sleep is one of the best things you can do for healthy and radiant skin.

  • As you lay down in your bed, imagine you are laying on a cloud.
  • You are safe and relaxed and you can look up and see the stars.
  • As you breathe slowly in, you see the stars get larger and more bright.
  • As you breath slowly out, the stars move farther away and more faint.
  • Each time you breathe in, try to make the stars get as bright and close as you can.
  • Each time you breath out, see them rush away into the distance and the sky turn black.
  • Repeat this several times.
  • Drift off to a good night’s sleep…

Beyond Your Breath

Your skin is an indicator of your overall body and energy system health. Doing simple exercises and creating more awareness of your system will go a long way towards overall health and happiness.

Beyond these breathing exercises, there are many modalities I offer through the Modern Mystery School to fine-tune your energy system and give you even more access to lasting positive energy boosts that help you stay on your A-game so you can put your best and freshest face forward to the world.

Glowing skin is just the beginning!

Getting underneath the skin, going down into the heart of the matter, the source of stress within yourself, and transforming from the inside-out is gives you lasting results. This allows you to glow with an inner light that is so remarkable people stop in their tracks.

The Life Activation session is a great place to start to balance your energy system and allow you to tap into your potential at a deeper level. This session has proven highly effective for thousands of years to begin the process of transforming negativity into positivity and disease into health.

You may also consider attending my next Stress Rescue Class to receive 9 modalities which have proven highly effective in overcoming stress in daily life.

I invite you to post a comment below, or reach out directly with your questions. I’d love to hear from you!

Mortality to Eternity: The Adventure of a Lifetime

When we look back at our lives, it is easy to focus on the really dramatic moments: the thrill of the chase, the sweet high of triumph, and the crushing blow of defeat… that time we held onto the cliff’s edge then let go, living to tell the tale. These peak experiences give our lives a sense of meaning. But for some of us, these ups and downs are not enough. Thrill seekers can get the blood pumping by leaping from higher heights and taking bigger risks. But the soul is moved by the biggest leap of all – the epic dive into the depths of the self to truly know who we are, why we are here, and then share the big and little truths that we uncover along the way.

Once we take this leap into self-awareness, the real adventure can begin. There is no greater adventure than the pursuit of purpose. On this journey, our compass is in our hearts. Mentors can describe reliable pathways through the wilderness. And we find treasure along the way including the joy that comes from our purpose being fulfilled. Each of us has this opportunity to choose the adventure of a lifetime: to express our true essence, fulfilling a unique purpose that makes the most of our gifts and with benefits reaching farther and affecting the world more deeply than we can presently imagine. In the words of Lao Tzu, “The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.”

In the Beginning…

When we don’t know who we really are and when we don’t know why we are here, we can’t comprehend a purpose for ourselves outside of what we see in the world around us. We can not know what matters most until we know who we are and what we are here to do. But are these things really knowable? Is this just the pursuit of an alternative story equally as valid as the one we are currently living? The proof is in the pudding, as they say… We will know when we start seeing the results.

If this is true, then how did so many of us get lost on the way to purpose?

The Mortality Conspiracy

Mortality ConspiracyWhen we are born, we know we are almighty. Our will be done. We utter a cry and beings rush in to serve us and meet every need. Well, let’s be honest; not every need gets met. And these little glitches slowly enroll us into the consensual reality of limitation. By the time we reach the age of reason (about 7 years old), most of us have been enrolled in schools that teach us to look outside of ourselves for approval. We are praised for fitting into predictable patterns. By the time we complete our education, we are hunting for leftovers… the jobs no one else has filled yet. We twist our minds and emotions into distorted shapes to fit openings that were not created with us in mind.

These occupations were not designed to help us know and express our true essence or fulfill a grand purpose. Instead, we are doing the tasks someone else outgrew in the hopes that we can follow that same track to success. And in this worldview, limitation and separation rule the day. Money is affixed to time (i.e. hourly wage, annual salary, “time is money”). We are separated into boxes labeled with titles that dictate what is expected of us, giving us a sense of superiority and inferiority until we can jump to another layer of the role matrix.

Enrolled in our Stories

In this worldview of limitation, we often see our lives through a dramatic lens, transforming loosely related experiences into a movie-script-like narrative with heroes and villains. We call this “our story” and we enroll people in it every chance we get. We even draft different versions of this story to tell different kinds of people in different situations to attempt to control how we are perceived by others… sometimes to our benefit, and sometimes to prevent the successes we are not ready for. Our stories are requested at parties, often by others who likely are just looking for an excuse to tell us their own. Entertainment becomes a replacement for fulfillment, and we wonder why we are often not happy.

Defined by the World

The world of limitation requires us to be clearly defined. It steers us toward an identity created by connecting to things outside of us.

“My favorite color is _____.”

“The only good music is _____.”

We identify ourselves by a tendency to repeat past choices and the outcomes of these repeating choices.

“I’m a hard worker.”

“I’m creative.”

“I’m a good person.”

“I suck at Scrabble.”

We compare ourselves to what we find in the world to associate with known quantities.

“I am smarter than half of my class.”

“I am a better person than my parents.”

These definitions seem reasonable and even helpful when trying to get by in society today. Modern American culture encourages us to identify ourselves with outside things and our relationships to those things in order to connect with others. (Oh the irony! Not seeing it? Keep reading.) This leads us to the idea that, somehow, by minimizing the self into simple definitions, we can attract like-minded individuals. And if we commit to these definitions, people will know what to expect from us. So we dutifully fill out social and dating profiles with our favorite movies, TV shows, sports teams, music, etc., investing in extensive collections of stuff, as if what we like today must define us forever.

This makes us predictable. This makes it easy for friends and family to buy us birthday presents and make us our favorite meals. It creates a bubble of relative safety (a.k.a. a comfort zone) where we can exist and expect to avoid pain… most of the time. And after we have formed a sophisticated identity out of what we find in the world, we defend these associations with the outer world ferociously when they are challenged. Because if they are not true, then we would be left exposed and vulnerable in a chaotic world of uncertainty. Yikes! No thank you.

Which way?

The Costs of Limitation

Once we define ourselves in this way to others, we become accountable to maintain this facade. Every day we put on the show for others, slowly diminishing ourselves by retelling these lies of limitation, feeling forced to do and say things that are not authentic to how we feel somewhere so deep inside. Eventually, we fracture our sense of self into sub-personalities: the person I am on the inside, the person I have to be at work, the person I have to be with the family, the person I am at church, etc. Each choice to limit ourselves into these separated roles is an affirmation of our limitation and our mortality. We are saying that there is only so much I can be, do and even like. And even worse, time is running out.

We may make these choices to be accepted in groups, but the side-effects lead to entrenchment in our differences. Rather than question our current state of self-awareness, we set up those that don’t share our beliefs as “others” who are different. If we continue down this rational path, we look at our reasons for our beliefs and feel superior to those who disagree, making them less than us, justifying all manner of judgment, animosity and even violence. Look at sports fans for rival teams as an example. Both love the same sport and the skill it takes to play, yet the animosity can be so strong it can erupt in intense and sometimes life-threatening violence.

The Culture of Limitation

When we look around, we can see messages of limitation and mortality EVERYWHERE. Marketing tells us we are broken and we need products to complete us. Our entertainment tells us that we are incomplete without relationships. We are taught to compete for limited time and resources. We obsess about our appearance as if our beauty were only skin deep. At the same time, we see certain individuals rise above this noise and prove this system wrong. There are clear triumphs of the human spirit when we rise to the occasion to pull off the impossible. There must be something else going on that can offer an alternate perspective on what this human experience is all about.

The Eternity Theory

Eternity TheoryIf you look past the surface teachings of the institutional religions of the world and into their mystic roots, you can find a common theme: we are not purely physical beings. Our true essence is Spirit, and Spirit is eternal. In other words, we have never been born and therefore, we can never die. Let’s entertain this concept for a moment.

If this is true, then this entire experience of physical existence – all of the things we are involved in and witness here – are souvenirs we collect during our brief vacation in physical reality. If we can view life through this lens, the things that we experience are just that… experiences, and not chapters in a greater story that defines us. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience.

OK… but why?

If we are really eternal spirits, why would we do all of this to ourselves? Why would we cram our infinite existence in this tiny and fragile monkey-meat suit? If we could be anywhere and anything, why would we choose an existence (however temporary) filled with limitation and suffering? Why, indeed! There must be a reason… a PURPOSE significant enough to make us leave behind the awesome experience of eternity to take on this mortal coil. And this purpose is perhaps what matters most. And it is our connection to our Spirit that leads us to the revelation of this purpose.

In Pursuit of Purpose

The adventure of discovering purpose is as old as humanity. Ancient traditions all over the world are full of stories of those who sought this treasure. Some, like the Greeks, shared tales of purpose filled with heroes (and anti-heroes) that possessed special gifts. Odysseus, Hercules, and Persephone all had special gifts or special access to the gods through patronage or parentage. This thing that made them special also connected them to the destiny of fulfilling a purpose. Similar stories are loved by movie-going audiences in the form of the Marvel and DC movies, which are full of superheroes and special abilities. Many remember when Spiderman, a high-school-aged superhero, receives some important advice from his Uncle Ben, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Is purpose only for the special ones? Does it take special access to the divine or superhuman abilities to pursue purpose? According to the ancient Mystery School traditions, it does, but not how you might expect. Hermetic Philosophy and Universal Kabbalah say that we need to be able to experience two important things before we are ready to embark on the adventurous pursuit of purpose:

#1 – Our worthiness.
We have to value ourselves enough to generate the desire to know who we are and why we are here. This placement of value on self means choosing the self as the master of our destiny, becoming open to a life we define for ourselves rather than the one defined by others.

#2 – The desire to know.
Worthiness opens the door, but it is our desire to know, experience and understand the truth that propels us outside of what we know and initiates the adventure of a lifetime.

Who can accomplish this?

Theoretically, everyone has the potential to engage in the pursuit of purpose. But it is a choice, and it is a rare few with the courage to go against what they have been told to approach the deeper truths of who we are and why we are here.

This Adventure Needs a Hero

We need a hero!

For many of us, shifting into a life of purpose and fulfillment requires a catalyst… an experience that gets us to look at our lives objectively, revealing the lie of living the life as it has been defined by others. These experiences can take many forms. In the hero’s journey (as described by Joseph Campbell and Christopher Vogler), this stage is called The Call to Adventure. Something happens to disrupt our otherwise comfortable life. It can take the form of a simple invitation. It can also be a painful loss. This pivotal moment can take a variety of forms, but the result is a new awareness that purpose is possible. This leads us to a choice.

Refusing the Call

The most common response to this call to purpose is to first reject it. I know, right? Why would we leave everything we know behind for an adventure with no guarantees of treasure at the end? What makes me so special? If it were easy, wouldn’t everyone be doing it? Then comes the excuses. We don’t have the time, money or energy to take this on right now. We will look into this after we take care of this, that or some other thing. We separate ourselves from the potential for a time, but for some of us, this new awareness is like a seed that soon blooms into a desire for change.

Finding a Mentor

What can happen next can feel like a miracle. This desire lights us up and we find our way to a mentor. Someone is revealed who displays some experience with this new awareness we are just coming into. In Star Wars, Luke finds a mentor in Obi-Wan Kenobi. (Wait a minute, another Uncle Ben?) The mentor is someone who likely doesn’t have it all figured out yet and might be a bit flawed, but they have enough experience to recognize our desire and can offer advice as we start out on our own adventure. They affirm us and our desires as worthy. They give us hope that there may be something to this purpose thing after all.

Teachers & Systems

Now that we have a mentor, we start asking lots of questions. We are skeptical of the answers, as we should be. We try things we observe our mentor is doing. Sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we fail. And if we press hard enough, we can learn where our mentor learned what they know. And this can be what leads us to tradition – a system filled with effective tools and techniques that have been passed down for generations or even millennia. Just like in Star Wars, the primary role of the mentor becomes preparing us for and leading us to our true teacher, a master of purpose with access to tradition (i.e. Yoda).

Recognizing a Valid Tradition

Unfortunately, The Mortality Conspiracy includes some false teachers and systems that claim to set us free to express our true purpose, but instead offer another system of limitation.  Knowing the difference between an effective pathway to purpose and just another system of illusion and control is fairly simple. Look for the difference between enabling and empowering.

Enabling happens when another interferes with the learning of an individual by eliminating, redefining or diminishing an obstacle, setting in the pattern of dependency on another for future development.

Empowerment means giving an individual the time, tools and opportunity to overcome their own obstacles, establishing skills that can lead to taking on greater challenges, allowing the individual to own their successes and failures while cultivating resilience and independence.

An empowering tradition will often look and feel strange because it is not part of the Mortality Conspiracy or the Culture of Limitation as described above. Members act in ways that appear to be against their own self-interest to protect something that may be hard to understand. This is because they are protecting a tradition that is greater than themselves. They prioritize the integrity of the tools, and the ability of others to access these tools in the most effective ways to get the best results.

When trying a new system, it is natural to put it to the test. We challenge what has been given to us, and a true system of empowerment will be resilient to testing and prove itself to us through the results that come from applying its tools.

The Time is Now

If you have read this far without screaming at this screen, then you have already passed the base tests of worthiness and desire. You have considered the possibility that the world presented to us is not all there is. If you feel ready for adventure, purpose, and fulfillment, then fan the flame of desire in your heart. There are mentors and teachers out there if you can learn to recognize them. Each of us can express our true essence, fulfilling a unique purpose that might change the world more deeply than we can imagine. The time is now, and this page is an open door to those ready for the adventure of a lifetime.



Crocus in Snow

Create an Environment Where You Can Bloom & Flourish


There has to be more than this!


I’ve done everything right and still don’t feel fulfilled.


I know I’m here to do something special and I just want to get on with it!


Crocuses bloom through the snow where other flowers wouldn’t survive. Like the crocuses pictured, we are each uniquely suited to bloom and thrive.  There is an analogy here for each of us.  The key is that we need to consciously create our environment where we can flourish.

Each person on the planet has a Life Purpose.  It is exclusive to you, and it is up to you to manifest it.  Interestingly enough, only through the manifestation of your Life Purpose/Work will you experience true fulfillment and joy.  Everything else is unfulfilling, mundane, and short-lasting.

Living your life purpose does not mean that you will not have to work diligently – it means that in the process you will experience great momentum and motivation to do your work.

Many people find that one of the things that slow down their spiritual progression and effectiveness with their Life Work is inner child pain and issues that have not been addressed and healed.  A good indicator that some of this work remains unfinished for you is that you will find yourself hitting the same wall (or ceiling) and not making much progress past it.  It has been referred to as the comfort zone.  I call it the ‘lack of clarity’ zone.

When we are clear about what we want, what our desires are, what our patterns and behaviors are that stop us (including inner child wounding), we can fully engage in our Life Purpose work.  In other words, we can bloom and create an environment around us that ensures our ability to flourish.

Every class, activation, and session provided by the Modern Mystery School is focused on empowering you to fulfill your Life Purpose.  The Life Activation, Empower Thyself, and The Universal Kabbalah are particularly helpful in supporting you to flourish in your life.

Exercising Choice as You Create Your Desires

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One of the premier teachings of the Mystery School is that we have choice. Kabbalah expands on this saying that each person and event – everything in the world – is a touchstone to test your freedom of choice; so choose wisely!

There are so many places in our lives where we can apply this teaching about choice. When one believes that they have choice, they feel empowered. Although we don’t always love the options that we are being presented with to choose between; but that does not mean that there is not a choice to be made! And if we procrastinate long enough, we soon discover that ‘no choice’ is a choice!

As we move through 2018 it is important to keep your focus on what you want to create this year. You have heard the saying “what you focus on expands”. Because this is so true, it is vital that you become aware of what you are saying aloud, and even as important, what you are thinking in your brain. The challenge with our thinking is that the brain hears everything as ‘truth’, so it is up to you to be the ‘guardian at the threshold’ on what thoughts are being accumulated and repeated because they will manifest in some way in the physical realm of your life.

You are the guardian of your mind

As the guardian of what your brain is thinking, you become aware of what is (and has been) going on behind the scenes in your mind based on the results in your life. This awareness gives you both the ability to make new choices and the option for change. Until this moment of recognition, you do not have that option! One thing becomes very important here for this choice to be available to you: the negative ego must NOT be in control – no projection onto others for what is happening in your life, no suppression, guilt, shame, etc.

And this is why every valid spiritual path recommends a practice of ritual, meditation, and prayer to assist you in aligning your physical being with that of the creator. This alignment and regular practice help you raise your frequency to a level that you will not attain on your own. Using these tools regularly, one can align with the creator and your life work/life purpose, experiencing joy and fulfillment.

What are your desires for this year? If you are like many people, you have already consciously set many of them in motion and may be seeing the new plants emerge. A great analogy is that you are the gardener and that the seeds you have planted with your thoughts and desires are developing.

The comparison of a flourishing garden.

A wise gardener will take time to recognize these new seedlings for what they are – did they come from conscious positive manifestation, or are they from an unconscious or unmanaged brain? And as the new plants emerge, the gardener has time to continue to formulate the plan for each seedling thereby ensuring its eventual success. At the same time, some seedlings may need to be removed, as they are no longer in alignment – again, this is all a part of you being at conscious choice. It may be as simple as you no longer want to put your time or focus in this area.

In other words, your mind may have been fertile with many good ideas that were planted, but now is not the time to jump on each new manifestation or plant that has emerged. We don’t have to cultivate every result of the work that we have started. From the alignment gained in your meditation, ritual, and prayer, you can continue to define with the assurance that which is most in alignment. Nurture and care for this with love and dedication. You will have a bountiful harvest that is truly an expression of your Life Purpose.

Live Life Alive!

‘Live life alive’ is my personal by-line. I use it to ensure that I am fully engaging in what life is offering – in all of its forms and presentations.  And fully engaging means being awake, aware and making conscious choices.  It does not mean that I chose everything that life offers.  In fact, the clearer I am about my life purpose and life work, the more selective and discerning I am with the choices I commit to.  Frankly, we just don’t have the time to spend on things that pull us off track from what we are here to do!

This being said, a key piece of our work here is to find joy for ourselves and to bring joy to others.  The Modern Mystery School teaches that inherent in fulfilling our life work is joy – both for ourselves and others.

Living life alive involves full participation in all aspects of life.  It is nearly impossible to have sustainable success when we ignore a key piece or relinquish responsibility for something that ultimately has to do with our success and happiness.

There are other emotions that do come into play here with this approach to life – fear being one of them – fear that we don’t measure up, fear that we don’t know how to do it right, fear that we don’t have the right education or training, just plain FEAR.  And, it will stop you if you let it.  It certainly will suck the aliveness out of your experience of life.

An acronym for fear that I ascribe to is False Emotions Appearing Real.  In other words, many times, what we are afraid of is not a reality unless we dance with it long enough and prove it to be so!

The Modern Mystery School’s Path of Progression

For over 3,500 years the Modern Mystery School has successfully trained and prepared people to fulfill their life purpose and destiny on the planet.  I invite you to contact me for more information about these activations, initiations, and classes.  Lets talk and see if this is right for you and if now is a good time…

Healing from Sexual Assault

For those of us who have experienced sexual assault like I have, it is natural to want to find a way to be more empowered. This is a common reaction because sexual assault is someone exercising their power over us and a reasonable reaction against that is to increase our ownership of our own power.

I want to share my story of how I went from a victim of sexual assault to becoming an empowered individual in the hope that others can learn from my experiences and use this knowledge to empower themselves. I will highlight the key changes I made in my life to help me achieve this transformation and I will describe what the shift in my life has really looked like. I truly hope that this article helps you in some way, or that it helps you help others in your life who have experienced sexual assault.


When I was sexually assaulted – in my case raped many times – I shut down. My fight, flight, or freeze reaction was to freeze. I disassociated and my brain really didn’t let me understand what had happened to me. It was only after I had had enough time, the space to process, and was safe that I started to come to terms with what had happened.

It is with this understanding that my world started to fall apart. I developed PTSD. My days were filled with flashbacks and fear. I would shut down and freeze again because the memories were vivid and felt like they were actually happening. My nights were filled with fear and insomnia as I lay awake terrified of the even more realistic nightmares.

Nothing felt in my control. I hadn’t been in control when I was raped. I wasn’t in control of when the flashbacks happened. I wasn’t in control of the fact that I’d shut down. I wasn’t in control of the nightmares. I certainly wasn’t in control of the fact that I could barely function in daily life with everything else that was beyond my control.


Then something clicked in me. I remembered that my psyche hadn’t always worked like this; I remembered that I was previously able to do daily activities and be happy. I decided that I could heal myself, be like I was once more, and take back control of my life.

I decided that I was the one “at the cause” of my life. I chose to become the one who drives my experience again.

It was my psyche, my emotions, my thoughts, and my actions that I wanted to change and improve. It was all me, so I could change myself.


This shift caused me to really work on myself by consciously changing my patterns and looking at how I caused myself pain. I was even looking at how I contributed to the rape by not telling myself the truth about the warning signs I saw leading up to it. This hard truth made it possible for me to learn from my past choices and actions, allowing me to make new choices in the future.

Now I was in control again! I was the one transforming myself for the better, and I learned how to keep myself safe.

Being empowered, or “at the cause” in my life is a lot of responsibility. It means that everything that happens in my life I need to take ownership of. I played some part in causing it and I determined how I reacted. It means that I am empowered to create the life I want, but it also means I can’t blame anyone else if things aren’t going how I want them to. It means I couldn’t blame my rapist for the PTSD I was experiencing, because I was the only one who could choose to let it continue or heal it. It means I couldn’t blame people or circumstances that triggered my flashbacks because I was the only one who could prevent me from having those flashbacks. Being empowered meant that I had to accept where I was, shifting myself to get to where I wanted to be.

“I was the one transforming myself for the better.”

Being empowered means I have the power to create the life I want, but also accepting responsibility for the life I have.

Accepting this responsibility and opportunity has unlocked so many doors. I have healed my PTSD over 2 short years, I have a much more joyful, fulfilling life, and I have a lot more hope for the future and the life I will create for myself.

But it took choosing to be “at the cause” and all that comes with that.

How I Became Empowered

What I found through my journey for empowerment was that therapy was not enough. Talking through and analyzing my issues did not provide any long-term healing on its own, only short-term relief. It was important to be heard, but then what?

What I found that allowed me to heal is a class called Empower Thyself:

Empower Thyself is a two-day class which teaches tools to help us be in the driver’s seat in your life. This class teaches about how we as humans create so that we can make sure we are creating what we really want in life. It teaches us how to keep ourselves centered, grounded and clear, making it much easier to navigate our lives and not be as affected by the drama and distractions around us.

This class also provides energetic support. Initiation is a physical transformation in which our energetic body (part of the physical anatomy, according to this tradition) is expanded to hold 10 times the energy – literally more power. This expansion of energy makes it much easier to create the life we want, with more energy to put into that creation. It makes it much easier to live an empowered life.

This class is taught by the Modern Mystery School, an international school with people who teach this class all around the world. If you’re interested in learning more please visit here.